Today's blog post was guest- written by Bill Matthews, MA, LPC. Bill is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Play Like a Champion Consultant in Detroit, Michigan. Bill is a frequent speaker at the Play Like a Champion Leadership conference, and specializes in youth and family therapy, with an interest in sports psychology.
Even before the crowd of over 111,000 had left the stadium, the internet was exploding with words of malice towards University of Michigan punter Blake O’Neil. O’Neill fumbled a low snap from center with 10 seconds left in the game, and the University of Michigan leading Michigan State by two points. He then botched the punt, which was grabbed by a little-known Spartan, and returned for the game-winning touchdown as the clock ran out. Mean-spirited comments such as “The entire state of Michigan hates you,” and “Go to the equipment room and start chugging that bleach my friend,” were penned by, angry fans.
When discussing the play in his post-game press conference, O’Neill’s coach simply said, "Mistakes were made on that field...very unfortunate circumstances." Fortunately, his teammates had his back. "We support Blake through everything. that's the kind of team we're going to be," one teammate was quoted as saying. But that “team first” philosophy isn’t universal. An incident like this may seem rare, but this kind of vicious social media backlash aimed at athletes of all ages is becoming more common. Such actions have become tolerated and some would even justify the behavior as a “right” protected by free speech.
Bullying is defined as repeated aggressive behavior that can be physical, verbal, or relational. It is a serious problem that has harmful effects on both the victim and the bully. Studies have shown that boys frequently bully using physical threats and actions, while girls are more likely to engage in relational bullying, which includes exclusion or spreading rumors about the person. Adults sometimes try to explain bullying away as “harmless hazing”, or “typical kid stuff”, but it is not. Mental health experts tell us that the scars inflicted by bullying can persist long into the future and can predispose a young person to develop psychological problems in adulthood. 32% of students ages 12-18 report being bullied. Victims of cyber-bullying have a higher rate of depression than victims of face-to-face bullying, and victims of bullying are at 4-5 times greater risk for psychiatric disorders as adults.
If we are to have any chance to put a stop to bullying in sports and elsewhere, parents need to discuss bullying with their children. There should be open lines of communication in order to find out if anyone is treating any child on the team badly. If necessary, parents and coaches should take steps to stop the abuse. Simply talking about the problem can be a huge stress reliever for a child who is being bullied. If a parent discovers that their child is the one bullying others, make sure he or she understands how hurtful such behavior can be. Parents can foster empathy by encouraging their child to look at their actions from the victim’s perspective. Coaches should put an emphasis on team-building and creating a “family” atmosphere. This can reduce the chances that bullying will occur and create a cohesive team experience that will benefit everyone. Most importantly, whether you’re a coach, parent, official, administrator, or fan in the stands, if you witness bullying or hazing in the sport setting, say something about it. Arrange a conference with the coach to communicate what you’ve seen or heard about and ask the coach to take measures to stop the abuse. Try talking with the offending fan and let them know their behavior is unacceptable. Establish a code of conduct for player and fan behavior. In kids’ eyes when adults say and doing nothing to stop inappropriate behavior, it’s another way of saying that the offending behavior is acceptable.
In 2013, Miami Dolphins offensive lineman, Jonathan Martin walked away from the team after repeated harassment from teammates Richie Incognito, Mike Pouncey, and John Jerry. Although we don’t like to think about it, bullying isn’t relegated to the stands or social media comments only. If bullying by teammates can cause a 6’5”, 312 lb NFL lineman to walk away from his team and his sport, what impact do you think it can have on an 8-to-12 year old Little Leaguer? A middle school basketball player, track/cross country runner or cheer leader? A high school soccer or lacrosse player or swimmer?
For more information on stopping bullying visit:
- http://store.samhsa.gov/apps/knowbullying/index.html Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration’s free mobile app for parents/coaches - “Know Bullying”
Any opinions or advice represented in this article are those of the author, and not necessarily those of Play Like a Champion Today.
