I thought we might switch gears today and examine one of the issues in youth sports that is overlooked more than Bobby Knight's behavior on the bench... the ride home after an athletic contest with parents. Some of the worst parenting and coaching in the world takes place in the privacy of the dreaded car ride home. Parents berate, condescend and over power young athletes to the point that many of them may lose all interest in a sport they truly love.
This was never more evident to me than with my own son. I've been his coach since he was old enough to walk. I've given him, in my opinion, some of the best coaching and advice that can be given to a young athlete. That said there's still a parent-child relationship to foster before athletics. Admittedly, I've always been tougher on my own children than other kids I've coached, but being involved with football the past few seasons has really opened my eyes.
Hmmmmm... where is he going you ask? The answer is really simple. Parents (present company included), always want the best for their kids. However, we can all be a bit over the top when "critiquing" our young athlete's play. He or she may not be living up to whatever expectation we may have, but that's not for us to decide. Although they are children, and to a point they will always be children in our eyes, they need to take some responsibility and figure things out on there own. If it's important to them, they'll go for it. As parents and role models I believe it's our job to give them every opportunity to be successful... that's it. Present the opportunity, provide support and leave the rest to them. Here are a few things to keep in mind during that "long ride home."
PURE RELENTLESS PEARLS OF WISDOM FOR PARENTS
1. Ease up a little -No matter what you say, you will never be tougher on them than they are on themselves.
2. They aren't you - So what you did at that age doesn't necessarily apply in today's sports arena.
3. Let's be honest, some of them just aren't athletically gifted - Just love them for who they are and be fine with that.
4. Ask them... don't tell them "How do you think you played today?" versus "I don't think you played well today." You might be surprised how in tune they are with how they performed.
5. Don't assume - They may not want to play the sport you played as a kid. Their favorite sport could be completely different. Let them decide which direction to go.
6. Always remember to tell them you love them - Sometimes no matter the approach you take, things can get out of hand. Just remind them that you love them and no matter what you're there for them.
7. We're talking youth sports here - nobody is picking up a check at the end of the game... if so, sign me up!
8. Relax and enjoy the game - This one is for me specifically. We've got to remember they're young and even the pros make mistakes. Lift 'em up.
9. If they ask give an honest yet loving answer - If you get them to ask what you think...think before you answer. In some cases they may be hanging on your every word.
10. Youth sports are about the experience and having fun - Never let them lose sight of that. We tell them a lot by how we conduct ourselves.
Our kids are under enough stress and pressure in today's society. Way more than any of us can ever imagine from where we've come. The last thing they need is to be placed on the defensive in the only safe place some of them may have...with mom and dad.
