A Note to Parents

Today's blog was written by Austin Wuthrich. Austin is a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching, a course taught by Play Like a Champion Today Director Professor Clark Power and Kristin Sheehan.  Austin is a senior double major in sociology and computer applications, and is a right-wing on the Notre Dame Hockey team.

Dear Parents,

We know that you love your young athletes. This is a note of advice based on my experience as an athlete.  

Please do not ruin your kid’s relationship with you and with their sport by having unrealistic expectations.  

All parents want the best for their kid.  Parents want their children to achieve their full potential in whatever they are doing in life.  This is natural, and great.  However, there are certain ways to handle these expectations, hopes, and dreams for your kids and one of them is by being supportive and understanding of your child.  

Many parents want their kids to be the super-star, and some make it very clear that their kid is more important than another athlete.  As an athlete, I've found that these parents are difficult because they are always nagging the coaches or other athletes, which can cause a lot of drama that the team does not need.  Another result of this constant nagging is that children can begin to resent their parents if they are always yelling or trying to control the coach behind the scenes.  I've seen it happen too many times--from my days on pee wee hockey teams to elite national teams.

Parents need to have realistic expectations of what their young athlete’s capabilities are.  This idea of a son/daughter becoming the next superstar in their sport is such an exhilarating thought but it can permanently damage the relationship with the child in question.  This is for many reasons, but in my opinion it is mostly because the parent will never be satisfied with their child's performance and forget that they are just kids having fun.  Parents should be having fun watching their kid having fun and should be supportive of what their children are doing.  

Parents, please remember that athletes are often most vulnerable right after a game.  Therefore, the things that parents say to their athlete on the car ride home from a game can be remembered for a long time.  This is why parents must always remember that they are their child's support system and what they say and do can affect a kid’s future (athletic or otherwise) more than anything else.  Please remember that great memories for both parents and their little athletes can be made through their athletics, so make sure all those memories are positive by being supportive and realistic.  Finally, parents, please know that even though your young athletes don't always express their gratitude for this support, we are all very grateful for everything you do to help us along the way.

Austin Wuthrich on the ice.
Photo Credit 247 Sports, CBS.