A Note to Parents

Today's blog was written by Austin Wuthrich. Austin is a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching, a course taught by Play Like a Champion Today Director Professor Clark Power and Kristin Sheehan.  Austin is a senior double major in sociology and computer applications, and is a right-wing on the Notre Dame Hockey team.

Dear Parents,

We know that you love your young athletes. This is a note of advice based on my experience as an athlete.  

Please do not ruin your kid’s relationship with you and with their sport by having unrealistic expectations.  

All parents want the best for their kid.  Parents want their children to achieve their full potential in whatever they are doing in life.  This is natural, and great.  However, there are certain ways to handle these expectations, hopes, and dreams for your kids and one of them is by being supportive and understanding of your child.  

Many parents want their kids to be the super-star, and some make it very clear that their kid is more important than another athlete.  As an athlete, I've found that these parents are difficult because they are always nagging the coaches or other athletes, which can cause a lot of drama that the team does not need.  Another result of this constant nagging is that children can begin to resent their parents if they are always yelling or trying to control the coach behind the scenes.  I've seen it happen too many times--from my days on pee wee hockey teams to elite national teams.

Parents need to have realistic expectations of what their young athlete’s capabilities are.  This idea of a son/daughter becoming the next superstar in their sport is such an exhilarating thought but it can permanently damage the relationship with the child in question.  This is for many reasons, but in my opinion it is mostly because the parent will never be satisfied with their child's performance and forget that they are just kids having fun.  Parents should be having fun watching their kid having fun and should be supportive of what their children are doing.  

Parents, please remember that athletes are often most vulnerable right after a game.  Therefore, the things that parents say to their athlete on the car ride home from a game can be remembered for a long time.  This is why parents must always remember that they are their child's support system and what they say and do can affect a kid’s future (athletic or otherwise) more than anything else.  Please remember that great memories for both parents and their little athletes can be made through their athletics, so make sure all those memories are positive by being supportive and realistic.  Finally, parents, please know that even though your young athletes don't always express their gratitude for this support, we are all very grateful for everything you do to help us along the way.

Austin Wuthrich on the ice.
Photo Credit 247 Sports, CBS.

Love of the Game, and the Other Players

Today's blog post was written by Michael McFadden, a sophomore sociology and psychology major.  Michael is a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching, a course taught by Play Like a Champion founder and director Professor Clark Power and Kristin Sheehan.

Although I was born and raised in Indiana, specifically South Bend, I grew up only spending a few gym classes a year on a basketball court. I became very interested in hockey before the age of six, and this interest developed into a twelve year hockey career. Growing up, I spent virtually no time playing basketball, the stereotypical, Hoosier sport of choice, because of the conflict between basketball and hockey season. It wasn’t until last year, my freshman year in college, that I spent significant amounts of time playing and loving the sport of basketball.

Unfortunately, hockey is not a sport that most people can easily play. There are many socioeconomic barriers to entry and this makes it a fairly exclusive sport; equipment and ice time are both expensive and difficult to come by in most parts of the United States. Hockey will forever have a place in my heart, but my recent interest in it has dwindled. Of course, Hockey itself has not become worse or lesser in my eyes. The feelings of a crisp, across-ice pass, a hard wrist-shot, and a defender-evading deke are ones that are irreplaceable. No newly-developed fascination with another sport could reduce the love I have for my years as a hard-hitting forward on my four-time city championship-winning and four-time state championship-losing high school hockey team. The memories and friends made along the way will forever be cherished. In spite of my love for hockey, basketball has truly become my recent passion.

I turned the TV on the other day with the hope that I’d be able to watch some sports. Sure enough, I had the choice between the NHL Playoffs and the NBA Playoffs. Without thinking, I immediately switched to the NBA Playoffs. My involuntary decision left me awestruck. It was just two years ago that I would have considered basketball to be an uninteresting and jejune sport that was infinitely inferior to hockey. Today, however, my immediate choice of sport is basketball. With the sound of Kevin Durant’s monstrous dunks and miraculous three-pointers in the background, I began thinking about the TV channel decision that I had just made.

Delving into my recent, involuntary decision yielded some interesting revelations about my social experience at Notre Dame as well as my past social experience in hockey. When I began meeting most of my current friends, we spent most of our time playing basketball together. Basketball served as an easy way to socially integrate; naturally, it wasn’t feasible to use hockey as a means to interact and get to know each other. Basketball, which meant anything from shooting around to full, five on five games back behind Keenan, started as fun, indirect ways to get to know fellow dorm members. Shortly, it became more than just an introductory rendezvous. Basketball transitioned into my friend group’s way of escaping reality, if only for a short amount of time. It became a way to enjoy our time with one another and to grow closer. Naturally, not only did I grow to love my friends, I grew to love basketball.

I finally realized that my recent love for basketball was not only a response to the sport of basketball itself, which I find to be extraordinarily brilliant, but also to the experiences that my new friends and I have shared and continue to share together. I developed a deep-rooted love for hockey after years of shared experiences with my hockey buddies. It wasn’t merely the sport that captivated me, it was also the relationships that grew over time. While I’ve learned a lot in two years of college, my new perspective on sports and their social roles in people’s lives is indispensable insight that I will never forget. Hopefully, I’ll avoid judging the worth or excitement of a sport based on the apparent amount of “fun” it provides. The value of a sport is not found in its rules and general gameplay, it is found in its instrumental social importance.

A Hockey Battle: Overtime

Earlier this month, the high school hockey championship game for the state of Ohio was played in Columbus. After 7 overtimes, the game was declared a tie by the officials, and both teams were named co-state-champions. That much is agreed upon. In the aftermath of the game, some supported the decision to protect the health of the young athletes, while others, including many athletes, argued that the game should have been allowed to be played out until one clear winner was declared. the discussion continued here at the Play Like a Champion Today headquarters at the University of Notre Dame. In the following blog, Play Like a Champion intern Tony Kim takes the view that the game should have been played out, while Lynn Kachmarik, Director of National Growth for Play Like a Champion writes in support of the Ohio hockey officials.

 Let’s Be Real: Winning, Hockey, and a State Championship.

Let’s face it: the desire to win is within all of us. No one likes to lose and no one likes to tie. We all like to win, be on top, and be the champion. And yes, it is true that everyone who plays their heart out for every minute of every game whenever they put on the uniform that representing their team is a winner. But, those who battle to the absolute end to win over all are the champions. And most of the time in the end, there is one and only one champion. That was unfortunately not the case, though, with two hockey teams from Ohio.

On March 8th, two Ohio high school hockey teams squared off in the state championship game. One was the unranked underdog Northview High School from Sylvania . The other, number 1 ranked St. Ignatius from Cleveland.  It was a classic David versus Goliath story.  After regulation and seven overtime periods, the game was called in a 1-1 tie for the state championship.

I know what you’re thinking, “Why would they call it a tie after seven overtimes?!” Or, “Why would they not just have gone to penalties after the first two overtimes?” And maybe even, “That’s a shame. I know I wouldn’t want to share my championship with another team.” In my opinion, the last of these possibly presumptuous statements of thought resonates the most with most competitive athletes. Those who train to win and be number one are inherently selfish. So why end a game after eight overtimes? Why not just let the play go on until a winner is declared? Especially after seven grueling overtime periods, don’t you think the players themselves would want to seek the game’s eventual end? By not allowing them to do so after all of that time almost seems cruel.  In addition, it took away the chance for the Northview underdogs to upset number one St. Ignatius and the chance for St. Ignatius to be declared an undisputed champion.

Even the players and coaches for each team spoke as if they were ready and amped-up to play and fight out another overtime period.  Such readiness was described by team Captain, Harry Smith, of the Northview team:

“We were energized for that eighth overtime.  We kept going back in the locker room and we kept telling each other, ‘The next time we come back in here, we’re going to be holding the state championship trophy.' We were tired, but we were ready and didn’t want the game to end that way.” 

As both teams skated onto the ice, ready to play another grueling and passionate overtime period to determine the Ohio State High School Hockey Champion—neither of them expected to have the game called a tie before they even met for a face-off. So why call it without even playing just one more period?

 Well, the reasoning behind it may be one of safety.   

“What happens if we go into the eighth overtime and a kid is exhausted and he doesn’t keep his head up and gets run over and is taken out on a stretcher?” Northview Coach Mike Jones said. “If a kid doesn’t skate off that ice because he’s hurt, what kind of national debate is there going to be                then?”

 Of course, the safety of the players is the most important thing to keep in mind—especially with a sport as hard-hitting, exhausting, and outright dangerous as hockey.  Without notice, a player could’ve gotten checked into the glass so hard during one of those overtimes that he may not have gotten up after.

But that’s hockey.  Those who have played hockey or know the game what-so-ever know that hockey is not a nice sport. You don’t play hockey without knowing that you’re playing one of the most dangerous games on this earth involving sticks, a puck that moves a hundred-plus miles per hour, and blades on your feet to move on a cold, hard, and unforgiving surface. There are hits; there are fights; there are enforcers wreaking havoc; there are teeth lost and dentists and oral surgeons making millions; and there are winners and most definitely losers. 

With a state championship on the line and outright glory at stake, the players were told to skate off and end this epic battle on the ice. Of course, even though the players’ safety should have and was put first and foremost by the officiating staff—they should have considered speaking with the coaches of each respective team to get their input on the eventual outcome of the game. By making such a decision without even considering the coaching staff’s input on the matter—it leaves a dry and bitter taste not only in the mouths of the coaches, but the players who sought out to hold that trophy in their hands and their hands alone in the end. And lest we forget, in sports—winning is a part of the game, but so is losing. In competitive sports, there have to be losers as well as winners. The fun of the game is in the competition. So now ask yourself this question: if you were these players, what would you have wanted? Wouldn’t you have wanted to experience the fun in competition? Would you have wanted the championship to yourself and your own team or to have shared it? We all know the answer to both of those questions and in regards to the latter—the answer is most definitely not one that would involve any other team’s fingerprints on the trophy.

 Game With No Winner Ends in Shared Title

Let’s look at the other side of this decision and discuss why I support the outcome to end this game when they did.  Let’s discuss the mission of high school sports as well as the message it sent to the players, parents and fans at a time when youth sports has become “win at all costs” and the number of youth sports injuries has exploded in our country.

How you define success as a teacher/coach, however, is critical in determining whether or not your student-athletes will experience a developmentally appropriate enriching experience through their participation in interscholastic athletics. At the high school level, the role of the teacher/coach in interscholastic athletics is to establish an environment that will facilitate success for all participants.  It was clear that the environment in the game had deteriorated to the point that those in a leadership role were concerned about potential injury to their student-athletes.  There needs to be no other reason to end the game as high school sports should not be a “win at all costs mentality” but a safe, education and learning environment for all.

I share a personal story from many years ago when I watched the championship game at the World Aquatic Championships between two National Teams representing Yugoslavia and Hungary.  Very similar to this outcome, the game went into 16 overtimes.  The competition went from sport at its highest level of conditioning, strategy and effort to one where very few players were even able to swim up and down the pool.  Starters were sitting on the bench exhausted, injured and mentally done.  When the game finally ended 2 hours longer than any game I had ever watched, there was no cheering but this overall feeling that it was over and disappointment.  I cannot even tell you who won because our discussion centered on why there was not a shoot-out when all the players were still in the game.  This was with our world’s best athletes in their sport.

Let’s go back to our discussion now about these two high school hockey teams in Ohio.  In the end, the decision was made for the health and safety of the players and I applaud this.  Nothing good happens in practice or competition when athletes are exhausted beyond normal conditions and this clearly was “beyond normal”.   We are also talking about young men who are not fully developed mentally and physically.  You add the physical and mental condition they were in and now their judgment and decision making skills are far less than normal for their age.  This is another reason why the game should have ended to make sure we as the adults are protecting each and every player on both teams from the exhausted decision that someone might make to lash out in frustration and exhaustion.

Clearly, in our society today, we want a winner and a loser.  Stories of poor coaching and abuse at the high school level are in the media daily.  If we as a society took a giant step back and openly discussed the mission and real purpose of high school sports, we would all applaud these leaders for putting their student-athletes ahead of one team winning over the other.  They fought hard and clearly were two teams who peaked at the exact same time and deserved to share in the championship title.  This was a victory for all.

 

When a Player Teaches a Coach

Today's blog was written by Jim Keena, a senior IT Management major at the University of Notre Dame.  Jim is a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching, a course taught by Play Like a Champion Today co-directors Professor Clark Power and Kristin Sheehan.

One of the important duties of a youth sports coach is to teach players how to be better people, both on and off the field. Sometimes, a coach neglects that duty, and qualities such as sportsmanship and respect go unlearned. But other times, it is the player who ends up teaching the coach.

12-year-old Matt Marotta did just that last month during his final hockey match of the Coca-Cola Classic International Peewee Tournament in British Columbia, Canada. After a controversial call by the referees at the end of the game, Matt’s teammates, led by their coaching staff, walked off the ice without lining up to shake hands with the other team’s players. To the astonishment of the crowd, however, Matt remained on the ice, alone, to shake hands with every one of the other team’s players and coaches, even as his coaches yelled at him to follow them off the ice.

 

Photo courtesy of Boston University Hockey

 

What Matt did is one of the hardest things to do in sports: defying not just his coaches, who are in control of his playing time, but also his teammates, who are undoubtedly a big source of peer pressure in his life.

What he showed was that when a coach falls short of the ideals of sportsmanship, that does not mean that his players need follow suit. Just because a coach fails to teach a lesson to his players does not mean that the lesson should not be taught.

In the coach’s defense, he later owned up to his mistake and said that he would accept any punishment that was handed down to him. He also claimed that his actions were meant to protest the decision of the officials, and that they were in no way intended to be a slight to the other team. From what I have heard from players, parents, and fans, it really seems like this is a great group of both players and coaches that simply made a mistake in the heat of the moment. So the focus here should not be on what was done wrong, but on what was done right.

Another thing that Matt demonstrated is that the oft-repeated John Wooden quote is accurate: sports do not build character, they reveal it (at least, sports can either build character or reveal it). His actions might therefore have served as a wakeup call to the other players, or to their parents. If Matt had the courage and the character to stay and shake hands despite the protestations of his coaches, why did no one else? Now, I will not blame the other players for simply following their coaches off of the ice; I think what Matt did is something that even the most respectful of kids might not have had the courage to do. Nor will I suggest that they have bad parents. But this does show that sportsmanship and respect are two things that can be taught at home as well as on the field.

So the next time that your son, your daughter, or one of the players that you are coaching takes the field, remember that good sportsmanship is a product of all facets of a child’s upbringing, and it is not something that should be neglected no matter the timing, circumstances, or the arena. We can all take a lesson from Matt Marotta.