Today’s Topic: Respect
I don’t really think I need to break out into Aretha Franklin’s all time number one smash single “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” for everyone to be able to understand at least in part how important respect is… I mean geez, if there’s a song written about it I’m guessing it must be pretty important. Motown greatness aside, today I want to really examine what respect is all about…and more importantly what respect isn’t.
The given dictionary definition of respect is:
Respect – v
to avoid violation; held high or with special regard; the quality or state of being appreciated
Let’s break the definition down by segment and further examine how we (coaches, parents and student-athletes alike) should show respect to each other. I think we’ll all be interested to see how it all shakes out.
Okay, let’s see… “to avoid violation” - Wow… So, if I violate someone by speaking ill or back stabbing do I truly have respect for them? What if I circulate rumors and filth in order to gain some sort of favor for myself? I am showing respect? Not very likely…but let’s move on.
Let’s look at the second segment of the definition: “held high or with special regard” – I’m guessing that since this is a verb, there’s a bit more to it than just saying I respect someone… I actually have to show it right? How should I go about it? Is there a formula for respecting someone? You know, the “Golden Rule?” Anyone remember that from Sunday school? Man, this is really enlightening…
The last segment simply says: “the quality or state of being appreciated.” The last time I checked if someone was appreciated they were not only told, but were shown in action... more specifically in how they were treated. I think what’s most disturbing is that our words and our actions are polar opposites in some cases. As my students used to say… “that’s totally creepy.”
So from what we’ve gathered to this point, it sounds to me like the basic definition of respect is just to treat people well. Some would argue that the second and third segments of the definition are what have to be earned – special regard and appreciation. I would then argue the mere fact that you’re a human being qualifies you for those segments. I’m sure that sounds Dalai Lama(esk), but I don’t think anyone wants to be violated or unappreciated… that goes without saying – right?
SO WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING IN OUR COMMUNITIES?
Why do young people show so little respect for authority today? Why don’t young people respect their teachers? Have coaches forgotten how important their roles are in the lives of young people? Why aren’t parents more respectful of teachers and coaches who, in essence, spend more time with their children than they do? Why are parents, players and coaches so completely out of control at games? Why don’t teachers and administrator respect each other? Why don’t coaches show more respect for student-athletes? Why do teachers have a chip on their shoulders? Why do busy-bodies need so much drama? Why do we dislike the person who is happy? Why does negativity sell? Why does one person feel the need to control another? Why is power so important? Why do jealousy and envy exist? Why is retaliation always the answer? Why is there always an excuse? Why is this list of questions infinitely long?
I don’t know either…
At day’s end respect is something you give and until the other person gives you a specific reason to do otherwise you continue to show it. In treating others with respect we inevitably respect ourselves… if one doesn’t have respect for himself how is it then possible for him to respect someone else…? Instead of reciting “respect isn’t given it’s earned” maybe we should say: “respect is given, but common sense is learned.”
I’m just sayin…
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