Participation Trophies

Today's post was written by Alison Moore. Alison is a senior Mechanical Engineering major at the University of Notre Dame. She is also a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching course taught by Play Like a Champion founder and director Professor Clark Power and Program Director Kristin Sheehan.  

I have been a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers practically since birth. My dad grew up as a huge Pittsburgh fan and passed it on to our whole family, so I have been dressed in black and gold and waving Terrible Towels for as long as I can remember. My childhood was comprised of family road trips to go to Steelers training camp and attend games as a family, so despite the fact that I am away at school, where there is another important football team that consumes my life, I still do my best to follow the Steelers and my favorite players. 

Earlier this fall when a news story came out concerning one of my favorite players I was really intrigued: JamesHarrison, a linebacker for the Steelers, received considerable media attention after making a statement on Instagram about taking away his two young sons participation trophies:

"I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I'm sorry I'm not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I'm not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best...cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better...not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut u up and keep you happy. #harrisonfamilyvalues"

Harrison received several comments in response to this post, both positive and negative. Some people lashed out, and said that he was an awful parent for taking away the trophies his kids worked for, and that it should not matter whether or not they were first place trophies: Harrison should have been proud of them and accepted what they got. They criticized that it was an example of parents putting too much pressure on their kids on be perfect and that their best is never really enough. While I can understand how some people could interpret it that way, I am one of those who supported and agreed with what he did. 

In his comments, he reiterates how proud he is of his kids and that he will always be there to support them, and I think it is awful that anyone would accuse a parent of not supporting their children. I believe that his actions were justified, and that too often nowadays kids are being raised to think that they are entitled to a treat or a prize for everything they do, regardless of the effort they put in and the quality of the work they do. Personally, I was raised to always try to give 110% in everything I did (that was a frequent comment that my dad would make to me) and I know that having that philosophy instilled in me has made me the person I am today. 

This situation relates directly to a lot of conversations we had in the Social Foundations of Coaching class this semester. You want to show young kids that they are valued and that they can accomplish anything when they set their minds to it, without making them think that they can just get by without putting in serious effort. Coaches and parents often put a considerable amount of pressure on kids to perform a certain way, and while it may be a fine line to walk, I think that encouraging kids to do the absolute best they can do and rewarding them only when they truly earn something will benefit the child more in the long run. The values which we hope kids will learn from sports about integrity and hard work aren't going to be as meaningful if they think they will get a trophy just for showing up. 

It is pretty bold of Harrison to go so far as to take the participation trophies away from his children, and then post about it, but it really makes one wonder if this is what it is going to take to make people realize that you aren't always going to be a winner in everything you do.  

An Equal Opportunity for Fun

Today's post was written by Demetrius Jackson.  Demetrius is a junior at Notre Dame and is majoring in Sociology. He is a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching course taught by Play Like a Champion Founder and Director Professor Clark Power and Program Director Kristin Sheehan. Demetrius is also a guard on the Notre Dame Basketball Team,.

During my time at Notre Dame as a student-athlete, I have had the opportunity to be a role model to a lot of young basketball players. It is important to us to represent the program standard on and off the court--not only for ourselves, but for our families, and all the young players who want to be like us someday. Every year, the program hosts a camp for the kids. Usually, we only have a little interaction with some of the campers through autograph sessions. They also watch us play pick up every night. However, since I live in South Bend, I was able to stick around when my teammates when home, so I was able to be a coach-counselor for the camp. 

My experience as a coach was very exciting, as I had a great group of young kids. The camp was open to both boys and girls, and the one young lady on my team, was also the most talented player on our team. Most, if not all, of the kids at the camp had parents or relatives that were season ticket holders. The campers were very familiar with the players on the Notre Dame Basketball team. I felt a special need to be a great coach and a good role model because a lot of them told me that they thought of me as their favorite player, which definitely increased the pressure.

One of my biggest struggles was making sure each of my players got equal opportunities. This meant equal playing time, making sure we played as a team and shared the ball, and making sure everyone had fun. Making sure that everyone had fun was the biggest challenge, but what is any job or task without a challenge? I set up an offense that required us to make sure everyone touched the ball before a shot went up in a half court setting. I tried to keep things exciting for my players by celebrating everything. Whenever an individual made a big shot or a minor defensive block, I celebrated with them like I was a player. I did my best to focus on teaching them how to play the game the right way while also having fun. In youth sports today, there is such a emphasis placed on winning that some kids get “burnt out” or lose their passion by the time they are young adults, and I didn't want that to happen with my kids. 

From our reading in the Social Foundations of Coaching class, I have learned that play gives children the encouragement and physical activity they need to develop their brains for future learning.  Through play, children discover, invent, and create. They mature in their social skills and ways of thinking, learn how to deal with emotions, improve physical abilities, and find out about themselves and their capabilities. A child’s “play’ forms a solid foundation for a life of learning.  I was able to apply this by giving the kids fun drills and keeping them actively engaged and promoting an environment where worked hard and built each other up.

Sacrifices for Youth Sports

Today's post is written by Michele Phillips, a senior at the University of Notre Dame majoring in Information Technology Management. Michele is a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching course taught by Play Like a Champion founder and director Professor Clark Power and program director Kristin Sheehan. Michele is also a midfielder for Notre Dame's Women's Lacrosse Team.

I recently read this article and as an student-athlete, related to it.  I think that children and parents alike can find some truth here. 

What age do we need to start specializing? At what age does a child need to stop playing multiple sports so that he can earn a scholarship for college? Can we skip the tournaments over the summer for a family vacation, wedding, or traditional sleep-away summer camp?

These questions are haunting parents right now. As the pressure to stay ahead keeps rising and the age at which children specialize in one sport keeps dropping, it is not getting any easier for parents or their children. The problem is that recruiting is not slowing down, therefore parents are not allowing their children to slow down and they are stripping the child’s childhood away. It is rare to hear of an athlete in college who has only been playing the sport for two or three years; these are rare and special cases, most have played the sport since they could walk.     

I specifically remember crying all night in 6th grade when my dad told me that I had to choose one sport or the other. At the time, I was playing both travel soccer and travel lacrosse, in addition to the town leagues. My parents would race me from one practice to the other, and I would frequently have to choose which one to attend because they overlapped, especially for tournaments away from home. While my parents were perfectly fine with me playing both sports, they felt it was unfair to the teams I was on, because I was not fully committed like some of the other girls, and they definitely got grief from the coaches about missing practices and tournaments.

In addition to club soccer, my summer camp that I attended every summer since 2^nd grade began to conflict with summer lacrosse tournaments. For a while it seemed acceptable to blow them off because we were still young and there was no pressure from the college recruiters. As I entered high school, I signed a contract before signing up for my club lacrosse team stating that I would attend all practices and tournaments. This led me to miss both of my brothers' graduations from high school.          

I really cannot complain, however, as deciding to focus on playing lacrosse took me all over the world, and got me to my dream school for college. I was lucky that I was able to pick soccer back up when I entered high school. Though I’m not sure that I could have gotten away with this if I started all over today. I'm now watching my younger sister go through the same process, but with much more difficulty. She wants to play in college and attend summer camp and be able to attend our family vacations and special events. She is having a really hard time making it all happen because of the tournaments, practices and camps that have been added to the schedule over the years. 

How much are you supposed to sacrifice for a sport?

I think it really depends on the child. No child should have to miss out on family vacations or traditional summer camps during the summer because they are feeling pressured to be at tournaments for their sport. And no child should have to give up playing multiple sports too early if they truly are enjoying all of them. If the child is meant to and wants to play a specific sport in college or beyond, it will happen for them, but that does not mean they should not have a childhood like any other kid. 

The Key to Leadership

Today's blog post was written by Stephanie Toy. Stephanie is a senior at Notre Dame majoring in Information Technology Management and a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching course taught by Play Like a Champion Founding Director Clark Power and Program Director Kristin Sheehan. Stephanie is also a midfielder on the Notre Dame Women's Lacrosse Team.

Something I truly cherish about my time at Notre Dame was my experience in the Rosenthal Leadership Academy. This academy is something organized by Notre Dame’s Student Welfare and Development department. The program consists of two retreats and six workshops throughout the year. Athletes from all different sports at the university are nominated by coaches and peers to be part of this program. They work with each other and advisors in an effort to grow as leaders.

Each week there is a different theme for the athletes to focus on. The lessons vary from figuring out strengths and weaknesses to overcoming fear of failure. While every lesson felt important to me, one really opened my eyes to leadership. The lesson concentrated on the concept of understanding that each of your teammates is different and everyone brings an important role to the team. This idea sounds like something that is very obvious and simple, but it is something that I have found many athletes struggle with, including myself.

As competitive athletes, we tend to think that everyone thinks the same way we do. Most people believe that their way of thinking is typically right. However, this isn’t the case. When you are on a team, everyone brings something different to the table. The team would not work properly if everyone thought the same and acted the same. Nothing would ever improve because nothing would ever be challenged. In the same breath, if a team was full of people who were all business and brought no fun to the team, the team would also be unsuccessful.

As a leader, it is important to recognize this. Many times people can become frustrated with a teammate that does not seem as focused as everyone else. What is important to realize is that maybe someone else on the team relies on that teammate being loose. Instead of trying to stop and prohibit people on your team from being who they are, a true leader will encourage everyone’s different personalities. This is a lesson that has already helped me tremendously, and I am certain it will help me throughout my athletic, academic, and professional careers 

Navy Football: The Essence of College Athletics

Today's blog post was written by Zachary Grant. Zach is a senior accounting major at Notre Dame, and a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching course taught by Play Like a Champion Founding Director Clark Power and Program Director Kristin Sheehan.  

College football has many programs people consider “great.” Millions of fans across the country exuberantly cheer for their team to win on Saturdays. However, in my opinion, one team has won a lot of Saturdays this year, but has won for life every year. This team is truly “great.” They are the Navy Midshipmen. Navy is comprised of young men who are the future leaders of our country. They are devoting their lives to service. Football, for them, is a secondary activity for fun. The lives these men lead will not be determined on Saturdays in the fall. They are unique in that their team is full of members of the Naval Academy who happen to play football, while many other teams seem to be comprised of football players attending school. However, while their primary focus isn’t football, they happen to be very good at it.

Keenan Reynolds is the face of Navy Football, and a perfect example of what Navy represents. He is a record-setting quarterback of the potent Midshipmen triple option attack. But more importantly, he is a tremendous leader off the field – like so many from Navy. He is assigned to information warfare after college. Rather than trying to head to the NFL, he has devoted himself to a life of service. Football is just a diversion from the rigorous, structured, days in the Naval Academy. While he is a standout on the field, he is more of a stand-out off of it. He is what the term “student-athlete” means, because he truly places academics above athletics.

Head coach Ken Niumatalolo also shows the unique and genuine nature of Navy Football. On so many weekends, ESPN and other networks’ cameras show football coaches yelling at and berating their student-athletes. Ken Niumatalolo is not one of those coaches. He never publicly yells at his players, yet has the respect of every single one. In its essence, sports should be about fun. And it is never fun when you are being constantly yelled at as a player. Niumatalolo does not put his student-athletes through that, and it pays off. Of course, the Navy players are driven to win by nature of their competitiveness and drive. But the fact that the Navy program itself does not put more emphasis on that than academics, leadership, and service is the reason they are the standard for what is good about college athletics.

The Navy football team is a collection of students who understand what it takes to be a champion in more ways than one. They strive to be champions in the sense that their actions can set examples for generations to come. They are also champions in the sense that they realize that the values they gain by having a great team can last a lifetime. Chris Swain, a surface warfare service assignee and fullback on the football team told Fox about the reason they have had success on the field this season: “We just bond together, we all love each other and we play for [one] another.” Navy is exactly what College Football should be. They are great leaders who are excellent students, playing football for the enjoyment and love of the game and their teammates. We need more teams like Navy.

Building Stronger Teams: Make Thanksgiving an Everyday Meal

Today's blog comes from Bill Matthews, LPC. Bill is a counselor in the Detroit area, and a Play Like a Champion certified trainer 

In Canada, it’s the second Monday of October. Here in the USA, it’s the fourth Thursday of November. Thanksgiving is a national holiday, a day of expressing gratitude for the blessing of the preceding year. But what if we celebrated thanks-giving every day, in a metaphorical sense, as a way of building stronger sports teams?

One of the first things most parents teach their kids is to say, “Thank You.” Think of the countless times you have said to your young children (or your parents said to you when you were a young child), “What do you say?…” to prompt the child to utter these words. But do kids today really have any idea what it means to be thankful? What’s the difference between being thankful and grateful? And how does that translate to building a stronger team culture?

Practicing gratitude has benefits that go beyond having a polite kid. Studies show that people who practice gratitude feel 25% happier, are more likely to be kind and helpful to others, are more enthusiastic, interested, and determined, and even sleep better.

Kids and teens who regularly practice gratitude get higher grades, are more satisfied with their lives, are more integrated socially and show fewer signs of depression. Research within sports has identified a relationship between gratitude among adolescent athletes and increased team satisfaction, lower burnout, and greater overall well-being. 

But what exactly do we mean by gratitude? According to Greg Chertok, M.Ed., CC-AASP, a sport psychology counselor and fitness trainer, and member of the American College of Sports Medicine, gratitude can be defined as “an estimate of gain coupled with the judgment that someone else is responsible for that gain.” Estimating and appreciating gain (performing well; being promoted from bench player to starter; recognizing physical improvement) and identifying that other people were involved in making it happen, are important steps towards feeling grateful. In other words, I can be thankful that I did well on my exam, but I should be grateful to my study partners (teammates) for helping prepare me to do well.

So how can parents and coaches help young athletes practice gratitude in meaningful ways so that our kids learn what it means to be thankful and grateful?

Here are a few ideas:

•  Coach team members to express their appreciation for one other. After practice, have players take turns going around the circle and express what they all appreciate about a teammate today. Make sure that the gratitude is spread around the entire team. The first few times you do it, it will likely feel uncomfortable for you and the team. But when you start to hear the amazing things kids will begin to say to one another genuinely, don’t be surprised if it quickly becomes a favorite team ritual.
• Acknowledge the small stuff. When we practice mindfulness it helps us to be present in our
• relationships and pay attention to our environment. So often today we go through the day distracted, out of sync with the people around us. Kids typically have their heads in a tablet, laptop, game system or headphones. Be intentional about noticing the little things they do to help and support each other and the team.
•  Make a gratitude jar or box. Have some scratch paper and a pencil nearby. Put them in a convenient place so that team members can write down things they feel grateful to the team for and place the paper in the jar/box. Open the occasionally to read what everyone has written.
•  Parents - make gratitude part of your children’s bedtime routine. Take a few minutes at the end of each day to show appreciation for the little things in your lives for which you are grateful. It is important for parents to model gratitude. It’s a great way to end each day.
•  Develop gratitude traditions – trips to hospitals, shelters, honoring appropriate fan behavior, expressions of gratitude to officials and opponents all help young athletes connect as part of a larger human community.
•  Connect gratitude to the GROW model. Teach your players to connect gratitude to Goals, Relationships, Ownership and [keeping] Winning [in perspective].

Here’s a great example Chertok shares in his article: former Olympian Carl Lewis reports in his autobiography, Inside Track: Autobiography of Carl Lewis, that feeling grateful to his competitors became part of his pre-competition routine. He wrote that, without opponents, he could not have been personally challenged. He could not have experienced victory without opponents. There would be no gold medals without opponents. Lewis chose to embrace the presence of his competitors as required figures in his quest for performance excellence. It was an attitudinal shift that served him well.

Too often we reserve expressions of gratitude for end-of-the-season awards banquets, and pre-established award categories (e.g. MVP). Why not make gratitude, thanks-giving, a part of your team’s everyday experience?  Try it, and watch your team GROW stronger!

Put the Student Back in Student-Athlete

Today's blog was written by Noah. Noah is a sophomore computer science major and a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching, a course taught by Play Like a Champion founding director Professor Clark Power and Program Director Kristin Sheehan. 

As stories pour in from Columbia, Missouri, it is difficult to draw something positive from what is seen. Students receiving death threats, reporters being attacked—an entire college campus on edge. With all of the issues stirring, I want to focus not on the overwhelming problems in play on all sides, but on what we can draw from this experience.

As a disclaimer, I do not know whether Mr. Wolfe’s decisions deserved the sort of outrage that has ensued at the University of Missouri. I do not wish to make this story about defending Mr. Wolfe. I am not promoting what the Mizzou students have done. This is in no way a promotion of Concerned Students 1950. This is not an article about racism. I wish to make it about a decision made by one man who, in a time of adversity, stood up for those who look up to him so much: University of Missouri head football coach Gary Pinkel.

When we see college athletes, on our own campus or on TV, we do not look at them as students. Do you really look at, for example, Cardale Jones and wonder how he is doing in his math class? Probably not. I never have. The things about modern college athletics is the giant rift between the average football student-athlete and the average student is growing at an alarming rate. At some universities, students are given special housing, special classes, special dining privileges—I am not arguing that any of this is wrong, I am just saying that it exists and further pushes the football player from the student body. You see them play on Saturday and rarely think of them as students. They are often better-known representatives of a university than the president or board of trustees; they have an immeasurable impact. That being said, their influence is dampened and they are often told to not make rash decisions, to not say something that may be deemed extreme or contrary, to not embarrass the university, to always present themselves in a clean image. With this, I would ask if then they are really even treated as students. College is a time when young people have the opportunity to try new things and, as would be expected, mess up. A time to be right and a time to be wrong. A time to make something of yourself. A time to define yourself beyond just a degree and a number. A time to become yourself.

In my opinion, Gary Pinkel, the man “in charge” of the players did exactly what he should have when the players said they wanted to boycott the game. He did nothing. He treated them as students. He treated them as people who can make their own decisions and portray themselves as they deem appropriate. Although disagreements arise over whether what they did was justified or exceeded acceptable limits, they have just as much a right to a voice on that campus as any other student.

This is a step forward. I hope football players and other student-athletes are encouraged to get more involved in the daily life of their universities, although not in such a dramatic manner. Whatever happens in Missouri over the next few months, one thing is for certain: Coach Pinkel sent a message. A message that will reverberate throughout the entire college football landscape. It seems ridiculously simple.

Student-athletes are students.

An Animal on the Field

Today's blog is written by Alex Wilcox. Alex is a senior Film, Television, and Theater major, and a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching course taught by Play Like a Champion Founding Director Professor Clark Power and Program Director Kristin Sheehan. Alex is also a student coaching assistant for the Notre Dame Football team.

One of the most influential men in my life is my high school varsity football coach--a stout, fiery Italian who played football in college. He was intense, demanded the best out of everyone around him, and forced his players to dig deeper than they ever thought possible. He toughened you up both physically and mentally, and even if you didn’t like him – and many didn’t – you had to respect him. As many football coaches do, he had many favorite expressions that he would bark out on a daily basis. One of these was that he wanted his players to be “an animal on the field, and a gentleman off it.”

For a while, I loved everything about this quote and football. I loved the intensity, the emotion, and the violence of the game. I loved the idea that you could take all your inner anger, all your aggression, and take it out on the field. I saw this dual identity as a positive, and I pointed to the example of Deacon Jones,an NFL Hall of Famer, to support my claim. During his playing days, Jones was credited with “inventing” the sack because of how dominant he was, and for how he ferociously he went after the passer. On the field he was known as mean and nasty, but off the field, he was known as one of the kindest, gentlest men one could ever meet. When asked how such a kind and gentle man could turn into a snarling lunatic trying to crush the quarterback and anyone else who got in his way, his response was simple – it was his job. He said to act the way he did was required to do his job to the best of his ability, and that in order to feed his family, he had to his job.

While the Notre Dame Football team was at Culver Academy for training camp this summer, we brought in U.S. Navy SEAL Marcus Luttrell, of Lone Survivor fame, to give a talk to the team. One of the things he said was that when he was going through SEAL training, he had to flip a switch in his mind as to when he had to turn it on, be an aggressive, physical maniac with no regard for his well-being and keep pushing when his body begged him to stop, and when he could be a normal human being. “Flip the Switch” has now become one of Coach Kelly’s rallying cries.

Football is now the most popular sport in America. However, this popularity has taken a hit. With concerns over player safety and long-term health, as well as the NFL’s approach to crimes such as sexual assault and domestic violence, more and more parents are making the decision to not let their children play the game I have idolized since I was four years old. Through it all, I voraciously defended the game and the league, but after reading the report on Greg Hardy’s assault on his ex-girlfriend and seeing the gruesome, disgusting pictures of the attack, I have had a change of heart.

Yes, there are some examples of players who are able to control their dual identity, such as Deacon Jones. However, Mr. Jones was not only an exceptional football player, he was an exceptional man. In today's game, a vast majority of players have no problem unleashing their inner rage, aggression, and violence on the field to perform their job at the highest level. However, it is channeling this aggression off the field that is the issue. 

For these athletes, this aggression and violence has been celebrated from the time they first put on a pair of shoulder pads and buckled up their helmets. This ferocity and tenacity made them standout players in high school, earned them a scholarship to play at a major college program, and led to them to a lifestyle as an NFL star they never could've dreamed of. This aggression and violence made them celebrities, and the harder they hit, the more we cheered, and the more they got paid. 

For these players, football is everything. It is not only their job, it is their life. When violence and aggression are an essential part of that, it shouldn't be surprising when this aggression doesn't stop after the final whistle. Being violent has gotten them to the pinnacle; it has changed their lives, and has always been celebrated, when it should've been curtailed. 

A stud recruit in high school will get offers from every school in the country, as coaches are so enamored with their 40 time they look past "that one time" he slapped his girlfriend. After four years on a campus where he was taught he was above everyone, including the law, and women were nothing but sex objects for his pleasure after a good game, he is then drafted by an NFL GM who has no problem overlooking a few "minor blemishes" on his criminal record and signing him to a multi-year, million dollar contract, because, hey, "kids make mistakes."  But these aren't mistakes, they are a pattern. A pattern of abuse, of unchecked aggression spun out of control. Add money, fame, and sex to the equation, and your first-round draft pick becomes little more than a ticking time bomb. 

The NFL is littered with examples of this. Greg Hardy and Ray Rice are the most obvious cases, but look further back and you'll find Ben Roethlisberger arrested for allegedly raping a woman in a bar, Ray Lewis arrested for murdering a man outside a club, and Lawrence Taylor, one of the most celebrated football players of all time and widely regarded as the single greatest defensive player in NFL history, who was just as well known for his propensity to smoke crack and beat strippers as he was for sacking the QB. Earlier this season, the NFL actually applauded its personal conduct policy as effective because, for the first time in years, the league went a whole month without one of its players getting arrested. 

For so many players, they have been groomed into being the best possible football player they can be, but no one bothered teaching them how to be a good man. They have been taught to unleash their aggression, rather than control it. Over the course of their life, these players' brains have been wired that whenever they face a "fight-or-flight" scenario, they automatically choose "fight", every time. So much time, energy, and effort has been spent on how these athletes perform on the field, that how they act off the field is treated as almost irrelevant. 

In light of these recent circumstances, I do not believe that this "dual identity" is a good thing, as I previously thought. I do not believe humans are capable of "Flipping the Switch," no matter how many times Coach Kelly screams it, and more often than not, instead of examples of athletes being an "animal on the field and a gentleman off it," it is more accurate to say, "an animal on the field and an animal off it," or simply, "an animal."

Sometimes We Forget It’s Just a Game

Today's blog post was guest- written by Bill Matthews, MA, LPC. Bill is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Play Like a Champion Consultant in Detroit, Michigan. Bill is a frequent speaker at the Play Like a Champion Leadership conference, and specializes in youth and family therapy, with an interest in sports psychology.

Even before the crowd of over 111,000 had left the stadium, the internet was exploding with words of malice towards University of Michigan punter Blake O’Neil. O’Neill fumbled a low snap from center with 10 seconds left in the game, and the University of Michigan leading Michigan State by two points. He then botched the punt, which was grabbed by a little-known Spartan, and returned for the game-winning touchdown as the clock ran out. Mean-spirited comments such as “The entire state of Michigan hates you,” and “Go to the equipment room and start chugging that bleach my friend,” were penned by, angry fans.

When discussing the play in his post-game press conference, O’Neill’s coach simply said, "Mistakes were made on that field...very unfortunate circumstances." Fortunately, his teammates had his back. "We support Blake through everything. that's the kind of team we're going to be," one teammate was quoted as saying. But that “team first” philosophy isn’t universal. An incident like this may seem rare, but this kind of vicious social media backlash aimed at athletes of all ages is becoming more common. Such actions have become tolerated and some would even justify the behavior as a “right” protected by free speech.

Bullying is defined as repeated aggressive behavior that can be physical, verbal, or relational. It is a serious problem that has harmful effects on both the victim and the bully. Studies have shown that boys frequently bully using physical threats and actions, while girls are more likely to engage in relational bullying, which includes exclusion or spreading rumors about the person. Adults sometimes try to explain bullying away as “harmless hazing”, or “typical kid stuff”, but it is not. Mental health experts tell us that the scars inflicted by bullying can persist long into the future and can predispose a young person to develop psychological problems in adulthood. 32% of students ages 12-18 report being bullied. Victims of cyber-bullying have a higher rate of depression than victims of face-to-face bullying, and victims of bullying are at 4-5 times greater risk for psychiatric disorders as adults.

If we are to have any chance to put a stop to bullying in sports and elsewhere, parents need to discuss bullying with their children. There should be open lines of communication in order to find out if anyone is treating any child on the team badly. If necessary, parents and coaches should take steps to stop the abuse. Simply talking about the problem can be a huge stress reliever for a child who is being bullied. If a parent discovers that their child is the one bullying others, make sure he or she understands how hurtful such behavior can be. Parents can foster empathy by encouraging their child to look at their actions from the victim’s perspective. Coaches should put an emphasis on team-building and creating a “family” atmosphere. This can reduce the chances that bullying will occur and create a cohesive team experience that will benefit everyone. Most importantly, whether you’re a coach, parent, official, administrator, or fan in the stands, if you witness bullying or hazing in the sport setting, say something about it. Arrange a conference with the coach to communicate what you’ve seen or heard about and ask the coach to take measures to stop the abuse. Try talking with the offending fan and let them know their behavior is unacceptable. Establish a code of conduct for player and fan behavior. In kids’ eyes when adults say and doing nothing to stop inappropriate behavior, it’s another way of saying that the offending behavior is acceptable.

In 2013, Miami Dolphins offensive lineman, Jonathan Martin walked away from the team after repeated harassment from teammates Richie Incognito, Mike Pouncey, and John Jerry. Although we don’t like to think about it, bullying isn’t relegated to the stands or social media comments only. If bullying by teammates can cause a 6’5”, 312 lb NFL lineman to walk away from his team and his sport, what impact do you think it can have on an 8-to-12 year old Little Leaguer? A middle school basketball player, track/cross country runner or cheer leader? A high school soccer or lacrosse player or swimmer?

For more information on stopping bullying visit:

• http://bullying.about.com/od/Bullies/a/6-Common-Types-Of-Bullies.htm
• http://bullying.about.com/od/Bullies/a/What-Are-The-Risk-Factors-For-Becoming-A-Bully.htm
• http://bullying.about.com/od/Victims/a/8-Ways-To-Spot-Bullying-In-Your-Childs-Life.htm,
• http://store.samhsa.gov/apps/knowbullying/index.html Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration’s free mobile app for parents/coaches - “Know Bullying”  

Any opinions or advice represented in this article are those of the author, and not necessarily those of Play Like a Champion Today.

Teammates

Today's blog was written by Erin Geraghty. Erin is a senior psychology major at Notre Dame and a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching, a course taught by Play Like a Champion Founding Director Clark Power and Program Director Kristin Sheehan.

Teams are a great model for the communities we will be a part of and the relationships we will form throughout our life. Teams highlight the importance of cooperation and hard work, and show us how to foster strong relationships and support networks. As a freshman on my high school’s varsity cross country team, I spent very little time running with my classmates. Instead, I found myself spending hours running and talking with older girls. At first, I was skeptical about being away from people my own age and I felt out-of-place, but a few girls in particular took me under their wings, made me feel welcomed, and taught me a lot.

 

The individuals who I found myself spending hours every day with became so much more than just my teammates. They allowed me be who I was and they affirmed that person. This loving and supportive community made me feel comfortable and allowed me to grow in confidence, as well as in my understanding of what true friendship and leadership looks like. They led me by example and made me feel like a part of a rare and wonderful tight-knit community. We shared our successes and disappointments and our ups and downs daily.

Far too many tragedies rocked my high school community during my time there, namely the death of four students by suicide. After another friend was taken from us far too early, I wanted to grab my running shoes and an iPod and just run by myself until I physically couldn’t anymore. I just wanted to run away from all the hurt, all the mess, all the problems. However, looking at my teammates, I knew it was my time to step up, to assume the caring position my friends had held for me in previous years and amidst similarly trying times, and to live up to what it meant to be a captain. So instead of driving home that day, I headed to practice to be with my teammates. We talked when we wanted to, we cried when we needed to, we sprinted up hills and screamed on the cliffs above the Pacific Ocean, trying to get it all out. It didn’t really matter what we did, it just mattered that we did it together.

all pictures courtesy of Erin Geraghty

My days of running on a formal team are over, but I still feel as the presence of my teammates when I run. I will always carry with me the lessons and values they taught me. When I feel overwhelmed or helpless, I drop everything, lace up my running shoes, and head out. Forest Gump wisely stated “Now, it used to be I ran to get where I was going. I never thought it would take me anywhere.” I couldn’t agree more. I started running with the hopes that I might make a few friends and get in shape for lacrosse, but I didn’t know that running would become an outlet for me, that it could renew me in a way that not much else can, and that it would teach me how to act as a “teammate” to friends, family, and all those I encounter throughout my life.  

Junk Food for the Soul

Today's blog post was written by Rachel Sexton. Rachel is a senior Accounting major at the University of Notre Dame and a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching course taught by Play Like a Champion founding director Clark Power and Kristin Sheehan. Rachel is also a member of the Women's Lacrosse Team at Notre Dame.

Bart Giamatti, former commissioner of Major League Baseball referred to sport as “Junk Food for the Soul.” What does that really mean though? Picture a football game, a Notre Dame football game, a stadium of strangers bonded together for a moment in time to watch their team strive for victory.

photo from Rachel Sexton 

Look at the fans, the cheering, the coaching, and competition. It’s overwhelmingly amazing. The smallest play results in an unbelievable uproar from the crowd. This moment in time connects the crowd and brings them back to a time in their life where they competed for something bigger than themselves.

It truly is special being able to play for something bigger than yourself, and working hard on a team. The pregame nerves; one-goal games and tight races… when the competition is so close you feel as though life itself is on the line. Even losing is special, because losing gives you the grit to get back out there; losing motivates you, stops you from becoming complacent and keeps you humble. But let's be honest, who doesn’t like winning? Winning is when the endless hours of work you’ve put in become a reality. The celebrations, giving hugs, sweating, crying… and that feeling of euphoria: the winning goal, the final point, the touch at the wall, the gut-wrenching ‘lean’ over the finish line. That ‘in the moment’ feeling of euphoria seems to only exists in sports.

photo from Rachel Sexton 

It’s not only the big things, but also the smaller details that have helped to shape our views and memories in sport. The fist pump & jump celebrations – the assist no one saw coming – hustle plays – high-fives – when your teammate scores his/her first –crushing the run test or at least surviving. We miss the parent hugs after the competition… because they’re always proud of you, even if you fell on your face (metaphorically or physically). The moments we spent warming up, cooling down and working with teammates: the people you fight with and fight for. When you see the little boy or girl who looks up to you like you’re a hero… hoping to be you one day; because you got to live out your dream, competing in the sport that you love.

Football Playoffs

Today's blog was written by Steve Vasturia.  Steve is a junior business major and was a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching course taught by Play Like a Champion Founder and Director Professor Clark Power and Program Director Kristin Sheehan last semester.  In addition to his studies, Steve is also a guard on the Notre Dame Men's Basketball Team. 

This past year was the first season that college football used a playoff format in order to crown a National Champion. This has been a hotly debated topic over the past few years, and I think it was great to see this playoff system rather than the old BCS points and rankings system. The four team playoff this year was not only much more exciting than in years past, but it gave a plethora of teams the opportunity to compete for a championship. As we start the second year of the new system, I think this will improve the game.

In years past, there always seemed to be a team or two that may have been undefeated, but was not able to compete for a title because the computers/sports writers did not believe they deserved to play for a championship. This created immense controversy and really left a bad taste in teams' mouths. I think the college football playoff is great for the game and I hope they will continue to expand the playoff to eight, or maybe sixteen teams as the years go on. I would compare this to what college basketball does for their tournament, which I've been privileged enough to play in. Everybody loves March Madness. It is exciting, and there is so much pressure on these teams to succeed. The best team to find a way to navigate through a field of sixty-four teams gets to raise a trophy in the beginning of April. This is the kind of excitement and energy that the college football playoff brought this past fall.

Ohio State took home the national championship in this inaugural year and it was the first time that an SEC team did not win a title in a long time.  An SEC team didn't even make it to the final game. I think the playoff system also shows how much parity that there is in collegiate athletics which is not only great for the sport, but for the fans as well. The playoff system has some flaws, and people will still think their teams deserved to make the playoff, but in my opinion it is great for the sport and will continue to improve over their years. 

When Kids Dare to Dream

Today's blog was submitted by Bill Matthews. Matthews is a Play Like a Champion Research Trainer and a psychotherapist working with children, adolescents, and adults.  Matthews specializes in ADHD, anxiety, depression, trauma, and performance enhancement treatment.  In addition, Matthews has coached and umpired baseball and softball for all ages for several years.

Anthropologist Margret Mead famously said, "Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” She could have been referring to Play Like A Champion Today partners, had the program existed back when she said it, but would you believe that a group of boys in Thailand could also be the ones to do it? That’s the incredible story of the Panyee Football Club.

What makes this story special is that they were Southern Thailand Youth Soccer Champions in 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010. What makes this story amazing is that they accomplished that feat without having a proper “pitch” on which to practice and play!

Koh Panyee is a small fishing village built entirely over water. There is no land on which to build a soccer field. But that didn’t stop the kids of the Panyee FC. It started in 1986. Back then, the boys of Koh Panyee loved to watch international soccer matches on TV. None had actually played the game; all they were able to do was root for their favorite teams and players. That is, until until one of the boys had the courage to ask, “Why don’t we start our own football team?” Their goal – become world champions, of course!

Adults laughed, but that didn’t stop these enterprising young athletes. They gathered scraps of wood and discarded nails, and attached them atop some old fishing rafts they had tied together, creating their very own  floating mini soccer field. The rest, as they say, is history. Watch a film of their work here.

Do the athletes you coach dare to have such big dreams? If so, do they have the tools to turn their dreams into reality? If not, here’s some tips that will help.

First, if you find that one of your athletes’ favorite expressions is, “I/we can’t…”, make your favorite response, “Maybe not yet, but…”. Dr. Carol Dweck, Stanford University professor of psychology and author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (2006) refers to this response as an easy way to start the shift from a “Fixed” (can/can’t) to a “Growth” (possible with more practice, effort, etc.) mindset. Without a growth mindset, no amount of motivation will make a difference.

Second, teach your athletes how to do “visioning.” Help them see what they want to achieve – what does it look like, sound like, and feel like? Have them imagine it as if it were occurring right now rather than in the future. Next, help them break their visions down into manageable steps that serve as the basis for process goals. Follow it up with some positive affirmations to help them over the inevitable bumps in the road (e.g., “I can achieve anything I set out to do as long as I keep working hard.” “If I believe in myself, others will believe in me.”), and you’re just about there.

What’s left is to have your athletes think about what resources (including relationships such as one-on-one tutoring  with a coach or teammate) they need to turn their dream goals into reality. Finally, give them ownership of the plan, monitoring and providing encouragement and feedback along the way. These few steps provide a winning combination that will produce results lasting far beyond what you can expect to see on any field, court, track or pool.

As for Koh Panyee, that first Panyee FC ended up finishing in third place in their initial tournament try, and the rest is history. More importantly, because of their efforts at fulfilling a dream, soccer has become the island’s number one pastime for both children and adults. Visitors travel from far and wide just to see and stand on Panyee’s new one-of-a-kind, over-water soccer field; the results of one child innocently asking, “Why don’t we start our own football team?” To quote Margaret Mead again, “The solution to adult problems tomorrow depends in large measure upon how children grow up today.” Coach your athletes to be big dreamers, and you’ll be preparing our next generation of adult problem solvers, guaranteed.