Building Stronger Teams: Make Thanksgiving an Everyday Meal

Today's blog comes from Bill Matthews, LPC. Bill is a counselor in the Detroit area, and a Play Like a Champion certified trainer 

In Canada, it’s the second Monday of October. Here in the USA, it’s the fourth Thursday of November. Thanksgiving is a national holiday, a day of expressing gratitude for the blessing of the preceding year. But what if we celebrated thanks-giving every day, in a metaphorical sense, as a way of building stronger sports teams?

One of the first things most parents teach their kids is to say, “Thank You.” Think of the countless times you have said to your young children (or your parents said to you when you were a young child), “What do you say?…” to prompt the child to utter these words. But do kids today really have any idea what it means to be thankful? What’s the difference between being thankful and grateful? And how does that translate to building a stronger team culture?

Practicing gratitude has benefits that go beyond having a polite kid. Studies show that people who practice gratitude feel 25% happier, are more likely to be kind and helpful to others, are more enthusiastic, interested, and determined, and even sleep better.

Kids and teens who regularly practice gratitude get higher grades, are more satisfied with their lives, are more integrated socially and show fewer signs of depression. Research within sports has identified a relationship between gratitude among adolescent athletes and increased team satisfaction, lower burnout, and greater overall well-being. 

But what exactly do we mean by gratitude? According to Greg Chertok, M.Ed., CC-AASP, a sport psychology counselor and fitness trainer, and member of the American College of Sports Medicine, gratitude can be defined as “an estimate of gain coupled with the judgment that someone else is responsible for that gain.” Estimating and appreciating gain (performing well; being promoted from bench player to starter; recognizing physical improvement) and identifying that other people were involved in making it happen, are important steps towards feeling grateful. In other words, I can be thankful that I did well on my exam, but I should be grateful to my study partners (teammates) for helping prepare me to do well.

So how can parents and coaches help young athletes practice gratitude in meaningful ways so that our kids learn what it means to be thankful and grateful?

Here are a few ideas:

•  Coach team members to express their appreciation for one other. After practice, have players take turns going around the circle and express what they all appreciate about a teammate today. Make sure that the gratitude is spread around the entire team. The first few times you do it, it will likely feel uncomfortable for you and the team. But when you start to hear the amazing things kids will begin to say to one another genuinely, don’t be surprised if it quickly becomes a favorite team ritual.
• Acknowledge the small stuff. When we practice mindfulness it helps us to be present in our
• relationships and pay attention to our environment. So often today we go through the day distracted, out of sync with the people around us. Kids typically have their heads in a tablet, laptop, game system or headphones. Be intentional about noticing the little things they do to help and support each other and the team.
•  Make a gratitude jar or box. Have some scratch paper and a pencil nearby. Put them in a convenient place so that team members can write down things they feel grateful to the team for and place the paper in the jar/box. Open the occasionally to read what everyone has written.
•  Parents - make gratitude part of your children’s bedtime routine. Take a few minutes at the end of each day to show appreciation for the little things in your lives for which you are grateful. It is important for parents to model gratitude. It’s a great way to end each day.
•  Develop gratitude traditions – trips to hospitals, shelters, honoring appropriate fan behavior, expressions of gratitude to officials and opponents all help young athletes connect as part of a larger human community.
•  Connect gratitude to the GROW model. Teach your players to connect gratitude to Goals, Relationships, Ownership and [keeping] Winning [in perspective].

Here’s a great example Chertok shares in his article: former Olympian Carl Lewis reports in his autobiography, Inside Track: Autobiography of Carl Lewis, that feeling grateful to his competitors became part of his pre-competition routine. He wrote that, without opponents, he could not have been personally challenged. He could not have experienced victory without opponents. There would be no gold medals without opponents. Lewis chose to embrace the presence of his competitors as required figures in his quest for performance excellence. It was an attitudinal shift that served him well.

Too often we reserve expressions of gratitude for end-of-the-season awards banquets, and pre-established award categories (e.g. MVP). Why not make gratitude, thanks-giving, a part of your team’s everyday experience?  Try it, and watch your team GROW stronger!