The Impact of Coaching on Parent-Child Relationships

Today's blog was written by Ryan Baer.  Ryan is a Junior Business Major and a student in the Social Foundations of Coaching course taught by Play Like a Champion Founder and Director Professor Clark Power and Program Director Kristin Sheehan.  

While I was not an amazingly gifted athlete in high school or college, I was fortunate enough to enjoy some athletic success as a child.  While this was inherently rewarding, one thing that made it uniquely special was the fact that my father frequently coached the basketball teams I played on growing up.  My involvement in multiple basketball teams enabled me to compare and contrast how my relationship with my father affected me, and I believe that this relationship is one that ought to be analyzed in great detail, given the large degree of involvement parents have in coaching youth sports.

While many parents who become involved with youth coaching do not have much experience studying coaching itself, my father was very involved in an organization which is similar to Play Like a Champion, called the Positive Coaching Alliance, which attempts to emphasize the significance of positive reinforcement in youth sports.  It was a very rewarding experience to receive words of encouragement from my father in an athletic setting, and I believe my teammates also appreciated his approach to coaching as well.  While the team he coached was not particularly competitive, I occasionally felt that he tried to make me work harder than some of the other players, in an attempt to demonstrate that my playing time was unrelated to our relationship.  Some times were particularly trying, but I believe having this relationship in an athletic setting granted me a greater perspective on the difficulties of parenting, an issue which can be difficult to grasp for a child.  I realized that he had my best interests at heart, and that understanding transmitted to other aspects of parenting as well; I was able to realize than in all aspects of parenting, both my father and mother were looking out for my best interests, even if I disagreed with (or tested) their methods on occasion.

Achieving success on this team enriched the relationship I had with my father, as it was something we could work for and aspire to together.  I think this is particularly unique and rewarding for a child, as most parenting decisions tend to be more unilateral than collaborative.  The benefit of this relationship became clearer to me in comparison to other teams I was involved in, where my dad was not involved in coaching.  While I certainly enjoyed the success I was able to achieve on these teams, I noticed that I derived less pleasure from these results, because a person I loved and cared about was less directly involved.  There certainly are risks in having exclusively parent coaches, as they may be less experienced in the nuances of successful coaching; however, having a parent who was an experienced coach proved to be an extremely rewarding experience for me.  I believe that more parent coaches should become involved in organizations such as Play Like a Champion or PCA, to ensure that this delicate relationship is able to be managed effectively.  Part of that responsibility falls on the parent themselves, to become actively involved in such groups, but that's why I'm glad Play Like a Champion is now reaching parents and coaches in over 35 states and several countries in their effort to reach out to parents on a more local level as well, providing informal and easy-to-attend workshops to encourage participation and improve the culture of youth sports.  While the parent-coach relationship is one that must be managed carefully, my own experiences have suggested that there can be a unique and great deal of benefit for both parties in the proper environment.